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Do you believe that one cannot be "too happy" and that good
times do not require bad times to follow?
Do you use anger as a signal to identify the problem to be
solved?
Can you distinguish between sadness from loss of self-esteem
as compared to sadness from the loss of a loved one?
Do you have alternatives to "fight-flight" as a way to solve
problems and get what you want?
Does fear and anxiety associated with your past experiences
interfere with your present activities?
Are you clear that anxiety results from your anticipation that something
hurtful will soon happpen?
Do you understand that when depressed you assume you are helpless in dealing with future
negative events?
| BEING
REALISTIC VERSUS IDEALIZING YOUR PARTNER |
Have you experienced "falling in love" as the chance to get
the love you always wanted from your caretakers when growing
up?
Do you understand how you gain personal power to influence
others by seeing them as they actually are rather than as
you would like them to be?
Do you think of letting others be the way they are
as an opportunity or as a threat?
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Do you see the decision to give up on getting what others
cannot offer as a positive choice, rather than a personal failure?
Do you view forgiveness as a benefit to the forgiver as well
as to the forgiven?
Do you sometimes become angry because others do not think,
feel, or act they way you want them to?
| CONNECTIONS
WITH OTHERS CAN BE BASED ON CHOICE, NOT NEED |
Do you believe that the way you think,
feel, and act is the only way you can, at any given moment,?
Do you understand that others cannot control what you think,
feel, and do?
Are you clear that "I choose you" is a more stable foundation
for a relationship than "I need you?"
Do
you assume that you and not others are in charge of arranging
what you need for your enjoyment of life?
Do you know that it is better to be rejected early in a relationship
rather than later?
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